Friday, October 20, 2006

Ghouls and Ghosts (or Tramps and Trannies?)

It’s almost that time. Halloween, or as I see it, the one night when guys get to dress up like girls and girls get to dress up like sluts. I don’t even want to begin trying to delve into the psyche for why that is.

It doesn’t seem like the Halloween entrepreneurs are discouraging the women from wearing their skimpy fantasies for all to see either. In Manhattan, you can walk past any number of costume stores and see posters showcasing how a girl can be a sexy nurse, or a sexy maid, or a sexy nun... Or a sexy mental patient.

Those that think I’m kidding can go to 23rd Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenue to view the picture of a woman with her double-D breasts stuffed into her tightly cinched straight jacket. Cleavage is clearly visible of course.

I guess the thinking here was “Hey, if a chick wants to pretend to be locked in an insane asylum, she might as well look crazy AND slutty”.

As for myself, I might have to forego a costume for the second straight year. I really did have a great idea in mind but are a few more pressing matters these days (like finding a new job and a new apartment). But I know I’m in for another night full of disappointed looks at my jeans and tshirt. My Texas friends were a little more laid back about costuming, but with this crowd in New York...

Let’s just say you’ll be standing in a group with a garden gnome and an Asian Magnum P.I. and people will be looking at you like you’re the freak.

Halloween was never fully supported by my family. I don’t think dressing up like monsters and demons sat very well with my mom. As a result, I was the kid that every other kid snickered at for having the crappiest, cheapest costumes. You know, the plastic Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny masks strapped on by the thinnest, dirtiest rubber band that would snap off and whip you in the face. I can still recall the stings on my cheek.

My friend, Daniel’s mom would never hold back on costumes. He would have all the costumes that were popular during the time. Like a full Bart Simpson get-up. Imagine opening your front door to a kid in yellow makeup with the spikey hair, orange shirt, blue shorts and blue shoes... And next to him, a sad, little kid in a generic “robot” costume that his mom reluctantly bought in the “Seasonal” aisle of the grocery store. Next year, Daniel had an official Freddy Kruger mask with the official Freddy Kruger claws and a spot-on match of the red and black sweater. Me, I had a hockey mask and a pirate sword. You get the idea.

Back to the present, I figured I had outgrown those painful years of trying to think of a good costume. Then again, these guys all know how to have a good time, and if you can get away with dressing up like a fool and have a laugh, why not?

My buddy, Tony, takes the prize though. His friends have done some hysterical group costumes, such as Care Bears and Spiderman dressed up in another costume (say Spiderman in a Tennis outfit). Their philosophy is that one Care Bear looks like an ass, but a group of Care Bears is ingenious.

Check out this classic:

UPDATE: I guess I’m not the only one who notices the sexy girl costume trend. Check this out. The best is the girl in the sexy Lincoln outfit saying "Four score with me!" (Thanks to Courtney)

No comments: